Girls usually have to face comments from people about wearing modest outfits from an early age. The slut-shaming sometimes originates from neighbours, schools, classmates and even relatives. Instead of putting all the blame on the girls, this mom wrote a daring Facebook post and explained she and her husband won’t force her daughters to dress modestly.
Jessica Martin-Weber a mother of six daughters from Portalnd in a lengthy argument she posted on Facebook has gone viral and has been shared by hundreds of users — some of whom have asked the family to share their opinion on how young women should dress.
"To us, enforcing modesty standards is about controlling people and we have found that is counterproductive and undermines our commitment to respecting bodily autonomy," Jessica Martin wrote on her Facebook page Beyond Moi. "The definition of modest dress has and will continue to change through history and across cultures. We do not believe we need to apply such arbitrary controls to our children."
The Martin-Weber family believes their daughters have the independence and they should be able to wear whatever they want.
“Modesty is too subjective and true modesty is about attitude and our heart. To us, enforcing modesty standards is about controlling people and we have found that is counterproductive and undermines our commitment to respecting bodily autonomy,” she writes.
“Can you tell me what inspired you to pick that outfit and what you feel it expresses about yourself and communicates to others?” Jessica questioned.
“Most of the time if we have a concern we refer to our questions and have a discussion. It is a priority to us that we be respectful of them and do not put them in the position of having to defend their choices as to how they dress their bodies,” she writes.
Jessica ended her note by saying she doesn’t regret their daughter’s decision of choosing the dresses they wear. “With our girls we never, ever tell them something isn't ok to wear for modesty reasons. I don't regret this decision as we watch our daughters bloom with confidence and dress for themselves rather than for the gaze of others.”
Most people who commented on the thread were positive, which was liked over 3,000 times. One of the Facebook replied, "Yes this!!! I've been telling people this concept for years, but you put it into such a way that I could not!." Another user echoed the same views, "your're (sic) making a big impact on our society." There was a heated debate and some showed disagreement with one saying, "We don't have a strict rule but my son or daughter ain't going out in daisy dukes, so I guess we have standards or limits which kids need to know."